My Heart

Every once in a while I turn to music when I feel low, Today put a new meaning in the word low and I turned to The Script,

I’m going to use some words from the song for this post,

I’M STILL ALIVE BUT I’M BARELY BREATHING

The words hit me at my very core, its very central to the past year,

Alive is not the same as living, moving on auto just because you are hurt is not the way to go,

I lay on Yomi’s couch for 2hours today, waiting to see if I could go see the girl of my dreams,

Somethings are worth dying for but nothing is worth losing the essence of yourself over.

SHE’S FOUND A MAN THAT WILL PUT HER FIRST

Every girl needs someone who will give her attention,

I got cocky and started to believe just because she said Yes meant she was going to be there for all time,

Everyone but me knew She was moving on, I have hurt someone I care about deeply just ‘cos she knew,

When you make a girl the center of your world and you relegate her to being a bit time player, She needs to walk away,

‘Cos she deserves better.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN THE BEST PART OF ME WAS ALWAYS YOU!

A go-lucky guy I was, I met the prettiest girl with values,

And I dropped all my baggages and turned my life around,

Worked harder and harder at school cos I dreamed a future for us,

Pretty intense I know but that’s who I became ‘cos she taught me how to feel,

This past year I decided to do it on my own just to see,

I think I achieved my objective but I was left feeling hollow and empty,

That’s simply because the best part of me was missing.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN I’M ALL CHOKED UP AND YOU’RE OK?

The right words seem to elude me when I’m talking to her,

Today I told her she intimidates me, She always seems cool and collected,

While I’m twirling pens and biting on my fingernails.

BAD THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON

I have had trouble believing that, I was always scared she was going to leave,

And she did and in some ways that I struggled to forgive her,

I let go of that and it seems like its too late,

If only I figured out sooner what the reason was and now that I’ve learnt,

She’s gone right out of the door.

SHE’S MOVED ON WHILE I’M STILL GRIEVING

What’s the point of this post if She hadn’t moved on?

I’m here grieving and I have no one to console me,

I ain’t sure which hurts the most,

The fact that She moved on or The fact that everyone but me knew She had,

I’M FALLING TO PIECES

Everything is crumbling around me, Got me feeling like deja vu just hit me,

Waking up at night with tears on my face,

I’m a bit more mature this time around, All I really want is my baby back,

Life doesn’t work that way though,

I always told her that home is where the heart is, My heart belongs where she is,

Everything seems to be falling to pieces ‘cos I’ve looked up and realised,

That she really is gone.

People telling me how I’m going to get her back, Others that I should move on,

But no one gets it, Its a bit melodramatic I know but,

Truth is, like the Dream said,

“She’s got the keys to my heart, She owns my love”

“I’m never going to give her up”

The song skips and the next one comes up,

Where did these guys learn what was going on in my life because they say and I do too,

I’m just a broken hearted man, I know it makes no sense but what else can I do,

How can I move on when I’m still in love with you,

‘Cos if one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me,

And you heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be,

You can find me right here. Always.